Heaviest cat was cut for animal welfare, largest balloon release for environmental welfare, and most guitars smashed during a concert tour for, in Guinness’s words, “guitar welfare.” It also got rid of trickiest tongue twister in the name of—what? Lingual welfare? Alas, no: subjectivity. That one was last recognized in 1974, meaning that The sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick keeps the crown forevermore.